13. (Fresh start.)

Sometimes things just happen fast.

You can't exactly always make things work out the way you want, but sometimes you can attempt to get them to work out something similar. Rushing, rushing, rushing. We do what we can to be happy, and make the people we love happy. And sometimes, that means doing things you wouldn't normally imagine yourself doing.

This is not to say that I am unhappy with the decisions made in the last 24 hours. No, no, no, I'm happy. Pleased. Oddly content. Which...

Which is scary as a motherfucker. Every other time I've ever been happy or content, I've fallen, and I've fallen hard. Here's to hoping it doesn't happen this time. Here's to hoping something better comes out of it.

But something things just hit you fast and hard and you can't control them. So you roll with the punches. This one's just a punch on a fresh bruise. A punch in a scar. A punch in a wound.

But I'm rolling with it. Rolling like a rolling stone. I'm doing my best not to be scared and paranoid, which is natural. I miss being an optimist, I miss having true hope, I miss feeling like things are going to work out.

I think they will. But there's still that nagging sense of pessimism I can't just get past.

Maybe I'll roll with that, too. Hopefully.